Square Peg in a Round Hole

See! Told you I wouldn’t post Friday. Never got to it, even if there technically was time. Too tired. And it was going to be a long weekend. I had to save myself.

Which sort of inspired today’s post. It’s hard to be an introvert in an extroverted world. (I’m also naturally shy, something I’ve worked on. But it’s tough being both. It’s also another post for another day.)

I don’t think people truly understand what it’s like to be an introvert. Sure, there’s lots of books on the topic these days. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain springs to mind. And I like to think that we introverts are seizing the day and trying to get people to understand what it’s like to be us.

We’re not mean, stuck-up or snobby (all things I was called in the sixth grade. A tough time no matter what). I just couldn’t figure out how to get myself in the game, or put myself out there, or whatever you want to call it. It just didn’t make sense in my head.

Frankly, truly understanding what being introverted means took me a long time to figure out. It doesn’t mean I hate you, think I’m better than you, or am judging you. For me, it means I’m not sure what to do. Usually it’s because I’m so overwhelmed by everything else, that I can’t handle the social interaction. It makes me physically sick. When I get to that point, I need a good hour alone in a dark room. No lights, no stimuli. Just quiet. Ahh… That sounds really good about now. Like I said, long weekend and today started with a headache. Of course, spending yesterday at the track with my good friends Vodka and Lemonade probably didn’t help much.

I hate being told that there’s something off about me just because I can’t handle all the stimuli and the feelings they are supposed to invoke in me. The feeling of trying to force yourself to enjoy what’s going on because you’re “supposed to.” That’s the problem with being an introvert in an extroverted world. You’re “supposed to” enjoy being around other people. To want to be in their company and to socialize with them. If you don’t you’ll die early. So I hear. You’re “supposed to” want to have an active social life and hang out with friends and family and be engaged and blah, blah, blah.

I’m nauseous just writing about it. Time for a dark room and quiet.

 

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