I Googled myself yesterday.

Well, not myself, but the blog. And, this daily blogging thing seems to be working. Sort of. Putting in the blog address gets the top result (obviously). Then the next several. And that’s good.

The problem is that I’m nowhere to be seen in terms of other search results. Which I guess I should expect at this point. I have no followers and no unique visits to this blog. (I don’t count myself.) Since I’m not a celebrity or even remotely famous, I don’t come with instant search results and fans and such.

Which means I have to promote this blog.

I’ve started to. I’ve done some Twitter stuff. With no results. But, I’m pretty sure that takes time. Along with getting people to really notice your blog. I could use the promote feature (or sharing, or whatever it’s called) on Word Press, but I don’t think this blog is ready for that. Yet.

And I haven’t shared it on Facebook. Yet.

But eventually, I will probably have to.

I remember when I was ghost blogging, it was about six months before the blog started doing anything in terms of search results. Ultimately, it helped the client so it was worth the effort. But six months seems like an awful long time.

Sigh.

Daily blogging for now, I guess.

It’s all about the practice at this point. About not breaking my streak. Keeping it up and writing every day (except weekends).

Which is all well fine and good and all, but doesn’t get me anywhere. Doesn’t get me any closer to writing the book. to finishing the WIP… OK, more like starting it.

That’s not totally true. It’s started, but not finished (as WIP’s tend to be). I have a great idea and a great character (or two) but no ending. No finish. No clue, really.

I don’t generally like happy endings. Not that I prefer endings like Hamlet where everyone is basically dead in the end. I just don’t like the ones with the neat happy endings where everyone gets what they want/need/deserve and people ride off into the sunset, blah, blah, blah.

Boring. And not real. Life doesn’t ever seem to end like that. And even if it does, what happens after everyone rides off into the sunset? What’s going on in the dark when the horse is put away? Does everyone look at each other and say “Now what?”

That’s what I want to know about. That’s (sort of) what I want to write about. What happens when it’s not a happy ending (or, you thought it was and turns out it wasn’t).

But I have a hard time knowing what that looks like. I have no idea why. Perhaps because I’m not at the end of my story yet. But, I can’t wait around forever to die, then write the story (which, come to think of it, could make for a hell of a story).

I can’t even figure out how to end the blog post!

What to do, what to do. Such is the writer’s life.

I’m not going to lie. This is getting harder and harder to do with each passing day. Coming up with blog topics and trying to sound interesting without whining. Not so simple right now and I’ve been doing the blogging thing for about a week.

But, I know I’m supposed to do it everyday. Even if it doesn’t improve my search engine rankings, at least it’s a good habit to get in to.

Part of the problem is that this isn’t what I want to write about. What I want to write, what I should be writing, is my novel. The third one, actually. The first two are what used to be called “under the bed” novels. The ones you write that never get published for whatever reasons. The ones you write that, in my case, are so awful, you never want them to see the light of day.

They’re not under the bed, though, they’re on the hard drive. I don’t know what they are called in that case. “Hidden file” novels? And they are truly awful. For various reasons. But, at least I recognized how awful they are. And have been trying to improve.

I’m working on the third one, but I’m stuck. I know who the main character is, and I sort of know the supporting characters. I have some idea of the plot, but not how it ends. I never know how it ends. It’s a weakness of mine as a writer. That, and titles. I always did horribly on those questions on tests. “The best title for this passage would be…” Always wrong. Every time.

That’s been the greatest challenge for me. I think I’ve got an interesting character, but no story to tell. And an interesting person does not make a novel. Conflict makes a novel. Since I’m not a big fan of conflict, it seems to make sense that I have a hard time creating it for others. Even if they aren’t real. But, I have to do something awful to them if I ever want to get this novel done.

Blog posts don’t seem to have nearly as much conflict in them. Which makes it kind of ironic that I find them so difficult to write. But, it has to be done. And it’s better than not writing at all.

At one point, I was a freelance writer. I gave it up because I hated having to chase down payment. Or just not get paid. Good times, those days. Not that this is much different, really.

The best gig I had during those times (because it paid) was as a ghostwriter for a blog. That’s how I learned about SEO and how to improve search rankings, and so on and so on. I wasn’t half bad at it actually.

It was easier than this, though. Sort of. It was on a topic I knew nothing about and the point of the blog was to educate people – or, at least, be informative. Since I knew nothing, I would do my research and turn that into a blog post. The big topics would get broken down into smaller topics and multi-part series.

The key word company suggested daily blog posting of 300-400 word articles, and they were the ones that came-up with the general ideas. It was all well fine and good until I ran out of suggested topics and key words. Then, I was stumped. Absolutely lost. And the client was impossible to get a hold of, so I couldn’t ask for suggestions or ideas even a wish list.

Eventually, I had to give up that gig, but at least I got paid.

I’m not going to lie. It would make things easier if I were working with a key word company right now (or analytic company or marketing company or whatever). And, I suppose I could contact one and pay for their ideas and go that route. But that seem a little disingenuous to me. What right do I have to say I’m a writer if I can’t come up with ideas for my own blog?

Of course, one could argue it was disingenuous for me to ghostwrite that other blog. And, I suppose it is. But, some of us aren’t as good at writing as we’d like to be or need to be to make a successful blog. I think of it as helping others.

Hopefully, by making myself do this everyday, I’ll help myself.

 

End of the day and finally some quiet time to write.

It was just one of those days. It started with me making coffee and wondering why it looked so darn light while it dripped into the pot. I had forgotten to add the coffee to the filter. It only went downhill from there.

If that’s how Monday’s going to start…

A bunch of ideas floated around my head for today’s post. I’ll probably get to them all later.

On Facebook I saw a friend (if you can call some of the people any one is connected with “friend.” “Someone I sort of once knew” is probably more accurate) also started a blog. Unlike me, this person is all in, in a very public way. Sharing it on Facebook with all us “friends,” shouting it to the world (not into the void).

It’s impressive.

Not the blog. There’s only one post thus far. It has the potential to be fabulous. Or not. I don’t know yet. I’m impressed by the willingness to be so open and exposed. Using your own name as the web address, sharing your personal opinions on whatever. (Maybe it’s the start of a lifestyle blog that’s going to be spun off into a lifestyle empire.)

Anyway, I’m impressed by the willingness to share so brazenly. I’m still not sure what I’m willing to share. Which I’m thinking is a bad trait for a writer. Obviously, I’m sharing some. I’m here, (and now on Twitter! That takes some learning), and eventually, I’ll share more. I’m sure. Maybe.

It’s the nature of the Internet. To share and share and share some more. Without over sharing, of course. Which makes me wonder, what exactly defines over sharing? When is it “too much”? Is there even that line any more? Is “personal” no longer really “personal”? Is it all just out there for everyone to read/see? Is “private” really “public” at all times?

Who knows anymore.

There’s an article floating around on the Internet today (isn’t there always), about how the best blogs are the ones that are informative. Of course, now I can’t find the link, but if I do, I’ll come back and edit this post.

I skimmed the article (as I often do) and the crux of it was that the blogs (and Twitter feeds) with the most followers are the ones that share information (or are informative). But not about themselves (meaning the blog writer). The “best” blogs – and I use that term loosely – were the ones that shared helpful information: DIY stuff, stuff about a specific industry, niche stuff. I suppose gossip stuff would be included in that, but I don’t remember that being in there.

The ones that were less successful were the ones that were “me” centric. I did this, buy my book, see my movie (I suppose) fund my Kickstarter campaign. Things like that. Also, if I remember, things like I ate a blueberry scone for breakfast and it rocked, I rode my bike this weekend, I’m so mad at the world right now. Stuff about me, not stuff that can help you.

Looking at all five (I believe it is) of my posts, I fall into the latter category. Which, not that this is news, is what I feared most about blogging. Lack of a niche, an expertise, something I can talk intelligently about. Something that I can use to help other people. Informational stuff.

I got nothing.

It’s just me blathering on about me.

Not good, according to this study. I suppose I’ll have to start sharing more about my personal life and how it can help you. Or get really invested in something and start talking about that (without being click bait, of course).

In a few years, when I’m famous and this blog is more well-known, I’ll probably look back at the beginning of this and want to delete it out of sheer embarrassment.

I won’t. It will be fun to look back at the beginning and laugh.

Yesterday was my weekday off from work. Today we closed early, thus allowing me to make an early blog post today. Also, it cuts my hours and thus my income, but that’s a post for another day.

Among other things, I ended up at the library and decided to grab a book. I didn’t have a particular book in mind. I looked over the new release area and grabbed one that had an interesting looking cover and interesting sounding synopsis on the jacket.

I started it yesterday and gave up after about two pages. This is often the case with me when I grab any old book from, frankly, any section of the library. I usually find myself disappointed when it’s a random book versus a book other’s have raved about. Sometimes I’m not even sure what all the raving was about. I won’t name names, but there have been a few in recent memory that everyone said was so great, that I just kind of went “eh.”

Maybe I’m picky.

That’s probably true, but I think also part of it is I don’t really like a lot of what’s out there. I don’t mind likable protagonists, but they’re usually written in such a way that they’re so darn likable that you just feel so bad for what’s happening to them. It would be such a perfect life for that character if only… Fill in the blank with a problem/conflict that creates the story. Or it’s some average person who suddenly finds themselves in an extraordinary circumstance through no fault of their own. Ick.

There aren’t a lot of anti-hero stories out there. Probably because anti-hero characters as protagonists are hard to create. Harder to make likable, because, in general, if you don’t like the main character, you’re probably not going to finish the story.

But, that’s what I’d like to read more of, likable anti-heroes. Why? All though, I’m really drawn to great stories in general, I like the idea of someone who is a jerk, asshat, whatever, being the main character. Saying all the things we can’t, doing all the things we can’t. It’s like giving a voice and legs and a body to our inner jerks and letting it run free in the world. It’s exciting.

Maybe that’s wrong of me. Wanting to give my inner jerk a voice, but I can’t help it. That’s the kind of story I want to tell.

What is this, the fourth post? And, already I’ve run out of things to say. Figures.

That’s why I didn’t want to start a blog to begin with. I have nothing to say! Anytime people ask, I have to answer, “I’m not that interesting.” I’m not. I could go on and on about nothing, or how I have nothing to say, but I’m afraid that would turn into something like a Seinfeld episode.

Wow. That totally dates me.

I’d talk about all the books I read, but I don’t really read that many. Which is probably not a good thing for a writer. Writer’s are supposed to read, otherwise you’re “writing in a vacuum.” Whatever that means. I read that on another writer’s blog somewhere.

It’s probably good advice, read more. Just in general, we should all read more. I can also see how writing has changed over time. Where to start the story, what makes a good story, what things we write about, read about. Even though there’s something like only seven plot lines and all the stories have been told, we keep telling the stories. But we change how we tell the stories.

That’s the story, I guess. How telling the story has changed.

Huh. Look at that. A whole blog post. Good for me.

I have a day job, like most writers. It’s not my “forever” job, just something that helps pay the bills since freelance writing isn’t nearly as lucrative as I hoped.

It’s a start-up. I’ve been there a few months, and already, my hours have been cut (everyone’s have). I thought I asked all the right questions during the interview: “How long have you been in business? How’s the financial side looking? Do you have outside investors? Things like that. I guess I either didn’t ask the right questions, or, well, I don’t want to think about that.

Since the company’s future doesn’t look so rosy, I thought about yapping about it on Facebook or starting a Twitter hashtag #savemyjob.

But, and this is sort of the point of this post, not only do I not have a Twitter account, I’m not really good at the art of self-promotion.

Like, promoting this blog. I realize that right this minute, I’m shouting in to the void. I haven’t promoted this blog anywhere. Not Facebook, not my non-existent Twitter account, not anywhere. It’s something I’m not comfortable doing.

Of course, if I were to Google “how to promote my blog,” I’m sure I’d come up with a billion or two links giving me valuable insight like, “Advertise it on your Twitter,” and “Post frequently on other blogs like yours, making sure to include a link to your blog.”

I may have Googled it once or twice.

I don’t like doing things like that, for various reasons. But, if I’m going to be a writer, apparently it’s a skill I have to learn. In the meantime, I guess I’ll keep shouting into the void. Maybe someone will yell back.

I’m supposed to blog everyday to improve my search engine rankings. That’s what SEO specialists say. Some even say to blog a few times a day in the beginning. Something about how Google and the other engines search the web and such. I don’t see that happening. The blogging a few times a day thing. The every day thing? Maybe.

Even though I like to think of myself as a writer, I don’t write everyday. Not like writer’s “are supposed to.” If that’s a thing. I was never much for journaling either, so it’s not like I have a rich history of spending at least a few minutes every day writing down something.

This every day thing will take some getting used to.

And it kind of bugs me, actually. I didn’t know writers had to have a blog these days. I know it makes me more accessible, but who said I wanted to grant the access? Not to be obnoxious, but maybe there’s a reason I don’t journal or blog or tweet or whatever. Because I’m not a big oversharer. (Yes. I just made that a word.)

But, these days, to be considered a writer (or much else, I suppose), you have to have your brand and your platform and your blog and your followers and all that social media stuff. It’s a fine way to share, I guess, if you’re into it. and if you’re not? Too bad! Do it anyway. You have to. It’s all about what you bring to the table before you even know if you have a seat.

I’m not sure what I bring to the table. I don’t know how much I want to share about me. And I don’t want to go the easy route and post click bait kind of things. I don’t have a niche, a speciality or even a particular interest that might be broad reaching. Even to write this post, I’m grasping.

So, I’ll stop for today, and see what comes up tomorrow.